just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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