the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
BRING THE BAGELS
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
