we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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