it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
