that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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