just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
