Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We don't watch enough power rangers
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize