Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
