Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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