Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
