I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize