cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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