She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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