im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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