i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
