I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
