i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
