look no pants
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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