she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
