Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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