she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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