I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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