I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
