People with herpes should wear stickers.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
