I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
