well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
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And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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