Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
