Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
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I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
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I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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