if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
