Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
