You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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