I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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