ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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