return my video game
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
