You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
