i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
