I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
