That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize