I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
