don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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