I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
where am i from again
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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