the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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