im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
