i just had sex bonerless
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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