Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
