I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
