I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
