Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i think i just lost a toe
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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