Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
