I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
