Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
