I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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