You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My liver just broke up with me...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
