When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
