he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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