fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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