Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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