my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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