This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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