At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
