If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
